I Used To Be Too Thin

A poem

thin | ©karin c

I used to be too thin
when that ring circled that finger
and I lived in that house
the one with too much stuff
too much of his stuff
a bloated house
a house groaning under the weight
of so much stuff
yet I was too thin

I used to be too thin
I heard the comments he made
under his breath
of people who weren’t thin
so I kept myself too thin
to win approval
to please him
so he wouldn’t call me those names
wouldn’t say that about me

I used to be too thin
hoping he’d shower me with words like

beautiful and attractive and fit

but never once did I hear those words
escape his lips
even though
I kept myself
too thin

---

and now
that ring no longer circles that finger
and I live in an unbloated place
a goldilocks space
with just enough stuff
just my stuff
in a not-too-thin body
a goldilocks body
one that’s
just the right size
for me

now
those too-thin days are but
a shuddering memory
only glanced at
in faded photos
only noted by
discarded clothing
clothing piled up on my closet floor
clothing that no longer fits
remnants from the days
when I used
to be
too
thin

©karin c