This was such an interesting read! It made me consider a lot of things from the female and male perspectives, and how we are really more alike than most people would think. We all crave to be seen and heard, no matter gender or age. I think the key part is to first see and value ourselves for all our fascinating aspects, and embrace our ever-changing selves.
This is a fascinating article, seeing it from two different perspectives. It definitely made me look at myself (female, same age range as May) and I realized I have never even thought about how visible I am. Not at this age, but not at any age. To be honest, in my daily life, I never really wanted to be visible; I preferred to blend in. It might be different for my online persona...
As an American New Englander I was taught via meta rules to be invisible. And due to early life wounding I took the invisibility shtick to its logical extreme. I'm in my 70s and I've been working on coming out - as a someone who is visible.
This is such a lovely collaboration. I definitely think cultures play a role in the importance of youth. In Asia, only the young are considered beautiful, and women can only be pretty till their 40s. I was lucky to look young for many years. After months of feeling the rapid decline of my looks, I think I've finally come to terms with aging. A young man once told me that the hairstyle is very important. If a woman has a nice hairstyle and carries herself well, she'll always be charming. For the rest of my life, I am going to do my best to keep my body in shape and have a nice hairstyle.
By the way, my husband understands how I feel because he used to be noticed by women and he hasn't been noticed for a long time. With him, it's less due to aging but more due to cultural customs. He's Latino, and back in his country, it's normal for women to check men out, but in Hong Kong, women don't do it or do it extremely subtly.
This collaboration felt like getting an understanding hug from two different friends, both saying it's okay to feel these changes and find new ways to see yourself. Thank you for sharing this May & Jesse!
I’m a white male senior citizen. We all have issues to deal with no matter the age, gender, race. I admire your self awareness. I agree with your assessment that we influence how we are perceived. Good article. I recognize you 😊
May/Jesse, this was beautifully honest and deeply relatable. Aging shifts how the world sees us, but even more powerfully, it invites us to see ourselves with new depth and clarity. Thank you both for putting words to what so many quietly carry.
I agree with Dani and Chingmay. This was an interesting read and a lovely collaboration.
Especially since both of your perspectives are different from mine.
I think that's based on our unique life experiences. The culture we grew up in and the resulting values we integrated.
You both explained how you developed your beliefs, and I could easily understand why through your words. That's clear and effective communication.
Last week I celebrated my 74th birthday. I don't feel 'old' because I have no idea what old looks like for me. I'm as feisty as when I was a punk kid. That helps.
I wanted to give the rude dude who inferred your life was less valuable because you were no longer a 'breeder' a little bitch slap May.
I have no tolerance for misogyny in any form, and that's another attitude I've carried for life. Probably one of the reasons I'm still alive and enjoying it. I don't take crap from anyone, unless I deserve it. 😅
I can imagine you will always been seen Rebecca - I am still thinking of your red boots :-D
And I didn't deserve that man's crap but I can say I gave him hell back - in one way or another :-D
Lately, I’ve been feeling more buoyant and vivid than I have in a long time—that’s why I felt compelled to write this. I truly believe that how we see ourselves often shapes how others respond to us and I want to keep that positivity alive!
I felt every word about how identity, visibility, and self-worth shift with age. The honesty in both perspectives is on point, putting language to what so many quietly feel.
This was such an interesting read! It made me consider a lot of things from the female and male perspectives, and how we are really more alike than most people would think. We all crave to be seen and heard, no matter gender or age. I think the key part is to first see and value ourselves for all our fascinating aspects, and embrace our ever-changing selves.
Thanks, Dani. I completely agree. We are more alike than many would have us believe, ever-evolving with similar wants and needs.
hey Dani TY for reading - yes indeed I agree we have to embrace ourselves then others may follow <3
This is a fascinating article, seeing it from two different perspectives. It definitely made me look at myself (female, same age range as May) and I realized I have never even thought about how visible I am. Not at this age, but not at any age. To be honest, in my daily life, I never really wanted to be visible; I preferred to blend in. It might be different for my online persona...
Interesting, Marie and I wonder if again it's a cultural thing?
I think that is something interesting to explore. It might be cultural, but it might also just be individual?
As an American New Englander I was taught via meta rules to be invisible. And due to early life wounding I took the invisibility shtick to its logical extreme. I'm in my 70s and I've been working on coming out - as a someone who is visible.
This is such a lovely collaboration. I definitely think cultures play a role in the importance of youth. In Asia, only the young are considered beautiful, and women can only be pretty till their 40s. I was lucky to look young for many years. After months of feeling the rapid decline of my looks, I think I've finally come to terms with aging. A young man once told me that the hairstyle is very important. If a woman has a nice hairstyle and carries herself well, she'll always be charming. For the rest of my life, I am going to do my best to keep my body in shape and have a nice hairstyle.
By the way, my husband understands how I feel because he used to be noticed by women and he hasn't been noticed for a long time. With him, it's less due to aging but more due to cultural customs. He's Latino, and back in his country, it's normal for women to check men out, but in Hong Kong, women don't do it or do it extremely subtly.
This collaboration felt like getting an understanding hug from two different friends, both saying it's okay to feel these changes and find new ways to see yourself. Thank you for sharing this May & Jesse!
I’m a white male senior citizen. We all have issues to deal with no matter the age, gender, race. I admire your self awareness. I agree with your assessment that we influence how we are perceived. Good article. I recognize you 😊
TY so much for that comment - appreciate your time
May/Jesse, this was beautifully honest and deeply relatable. Aging shifts how the world sees us, but even more powerfully, it invites us to see ourselves with new depth and clarity. Thank you both for putting words to what so many quietly carry.
It does indeed George TY for your comment
What an amazing post. Thanks
thats kind of u to say
This was an illuminating read and, of course, such an important topic to talk about.
P.S. May, you are beautiful inside and out. We're very lucky to have your words and company.
Ah Debdutta - Virtual hug <3
I agree with Dani and Chingmay. This was an interesting read and a lovely collaboration.
Especially since both of your perspectives are different from mine.
I think that's based on our unique life experiences. The culture we grew up in and the resulting values we integrated.
You both explained how you developed your beliefs, and I could easily understand why through your words. That's clear and effective communication.
Last week I celebrated my 74th birthday. I don't feel 'old' because I have no idea what old looks like for me. I'm as feisty as when I was a punk kid. That helps.
I wanted to give the rude dude who inferred your life was less valuable because you were no longer a 'breeder' a little bitch slap May.
I have no tolerance for misogyny in any form, and that's another attitude I've carried for life. Probably one of the reasons I'm still alive and enjoying it. I don't take crap from anyone, unless I deserve it. 😅
My thanks to both of you. 🌞💎🌞🙏🌹
I can imagine you will always been seen Rebecca - I am still thinking of your red boots :-D
And I didn't deserve that man's crap but I can say I gave him hell back - in one way or another :-D
Lately, I’ve been feeling more buoyant and vivid than I have in a long time—that’s why I felt compelled to write this. I truly believe that how we see ourselves often shapes how others respond to us and I want to keep that positivity alive!
TY for reading my friend <3
I felt every word about how identity, visibility, and self-worth shift with age. The honesty in both perspectives is on point, putting language to what so many quietly feel.
Hello Darlene I appreciate your comment