Oh, Marie... this is heartbreaking 💔 What a horrible thing your son has to endure, all of you. I'm so sorry he ended up in an abusive relationship. You must have felt like strangling her! Terrible!
My eldest brother's partner of 30 years had schizophrenia. She'd stop taking her meds because she thought she didn't need them anymore, and all hell would break loose. What a burden she was on him, her son, and everyone else. So sad.
My heart goes out to all of you, Marie. You're a good mother by checking in. There isn't much else you can do. Sending my love and hugs. 🤍
Thank you for your kind comment, Marcia. Ever since I've decided to be his mom, not his carer, it got a bit easier for me, but I still worry. Especially when I send him a message and it takes days for him to answer me. But I know I have to give him the space to live life according to his own wishes, and to trust he will come to me when he needs me.
I'm sorry to hear about your brother's partner. That must've been so hard.
You’re a good Mum, Marie. It would be so hard to step back. I’d be the same, I’m sure. Of course you still worry. You’ll be there when he needs you. It’s all you can do 🤍
Thank you, Ute, and yes, I agree. We need to be transparent about this, if only to let others who suffer the same know they are not alone. And of course, to create more understanding with people who have no experience with this 🤍
Marie, thank you so much for sharing this. It is such an honest look at a journey that's been filled with both love and challenges. That core connection of love is so vital. Sending you hugs!
Hey Marie - Thank you for opening up about a world that’s often hidden, and doing it in your own unique, very real way. It will help someone. Well we know it really has.
This felt so real and personal—right from the start. I love how you shared the small details, like him clapping his hands with glee, and how it all made sense later. It’s heartbreaking and beautiful at the same time, especially the part about wishing you never knew he was gifted… that hit deep.
That might be my biggest regret in raising him, having him skip classes and not concentrate on the socio-emotional side, to make him stronger to face the world. If only we had more knowledge of his conditions when he was a child.
Thank you for sharing this. Continue giving the support you can to him. I have two adult daughters who still live at home. One is on the spectrum with other health issues, and her younger sister was diagnosed schizophrenic about 12 years ago. Everyday is different with both of them. As I taught them, "Some days are good, Some days are bad, and Some days just Suck. Let's minimize the 'Just Suck' days." Being part of a wider community has been helpful to both of them. My youngest is trying to get her driver's license (something a decade ago we both agreed she wasn't able to do). But having a routine, having a safe space, and being able to get help when needed is good for both of my daughters. My daughter on the spectrum works at our local church as a secretary. She has a fixed routine and only has to interact with select people. She feels like she has some control of her life, which helps keep her emotionally stable. On a different note, did you ever read the comic strip "Clear Blue Water"? It was written by a woman who was raising multiple children including one who was severely autistic. Her "slice of life with a smile and a tear" style of writing made for stories that those of us with special needs kids could all relate to. Especially one where she is going down the street with her kids in tow and a woman looks at them and says "Oh Thank God that you have normal ones too." She turns and responds, "Yes, because of course I couldn't love all of my children the same unless they were perfect. Is that what you mean? I couldn't possibly love and care for all of my children with the same love and understanding regardless of their problems. Is that what you mean?" The woman is dumbfounded and tries to apologize, but the mom cuts her off. "Then it is good that God made me the mother of such children instead of having people like you who couldn't care for less than perfect children. Yes, Thank God for that." The author wrote in her blog post back in the days when those were more popular that the story didn't happen that way in real life. Yes the woman made the comment, but she didn't have the snappy comeback. When she did think of it, she drew the comic instead. Remind your family, that none of you are alone. We might not see it, feel it, or remember it, but there are people all around you who love and care for you.
Thank you for writing your post and I look forward to more.
Thank you so much for your comment, Oli. God sure knows who to pick as parents for these special children. I will look for the comic you've mentioned - I haven't heard of it before. So wonderful your kids can find their ways with your support 🤍
Your article resonated deeply with me as we started raising funds for Autism kids. This is another project we are working on. I can understand, Marie, what you had gone through & still going through! Stay strong Marie! ♥️
Oh, Marie... this is heartbreaking 💔 What a horrible thing your son has to endure, all of you. I'm so sorry he ended up in an abusive relationship. You must have felt like strangling her! Terrible!
My eldest brother's partner of 30 years had schizophrenia. She'd stop taking her meds because she thought she didn't need them anymore, and all hell would break loose. What a burden she was on him, her son, and everyone else. So sad.
My heart goes out to all of you, Marie. You're a good mother by checking in. There isn't much else you can do. Sending my love and hugs. 🤍
Thank you for your kind comment, Marcia. Ever since I've decided to be his mom, not his carer, it got a bit easier for me, but I still worry. Especially when I send him a message and it takes days for him to answer me. But I know I have to give him the space to live life according to his own wishes, and to trust he will come to me when he needs me.
I'm sorry to hear about your brother's partner. That must've been so hard.
You’re a good Mum, Marie. It would be so hard to step back. I’d be the same, I’m sure. Of course you still worry. You’ll be there when he needs you. It’s all you can do 🤍
Thanks, Marie.
🤍❤️🤍
I’m so relieved that you’re writing about this while my heart aches for you and your son.
I feel that it is beyond important to be transparent about these issues and yes, it may truly help someone who reads this.
My 🩷is with you.
Thank you, Ute, and yes, I agree. We need to be transparent about this, if only to let others who suffer the same know they are not alone. And of course, to create more understanding with people who have no experience with this 🤍
Marie, thank you so much for sharing this. It is such an honest look at a journey that's been filled with both love and challenges. That core connection of love is so vital. Sending you hugs!
Thank you, Diana, and I agree, love is essential in this, even when t's sometimes a one-way street.
Hey Marie - Thank you for opening up about a world that’s often hidden, and doing it in your own unique, very real way. It will help someone. Well we know it really has.
It has indeed. Thank you for your kind comment, May, and giving me the platform to share this 💜
I send you love and courage. 🩵🩵🩵
Thank you! 🤍
This felt so real and personal—right from the start. I love how you shared the small details, like him clapping his hands with glee, and how it all made sense later. It’s heartbreaking and beautiful at the same time, especially the part about wishing you never knew he was gifted… that hit deep.
That might be my biggest regret in raising him, having him skip classes and not concentrate on the socio-emotional side, to make him stronger to face the world. If only we had more knowledge of his conditions when he was a child.
Absolutely
Thank you for sharing this. Continue giving the support you can to him. I have two adult daughters who still live at home. One is on the spectrum with other health issues, and her younger sister was diagnosed schizophrenic about 12 years ago. Everyday is different with both of them. As I taught them, "Some days are good, Some days are bad, and Some days just Suck. Let's minimize the 'Just Suck' days." Being part of a wider community has been helpful to both of them. My youngest is trying to get her driver's license (something a decade ago we both agreed she wasn't able to do). But having a routine, having a safe space, and being able to get help when needed is good for both of my daughters. My daughter on the spectrum works at our local church as a secretary. She has a fixed routine and only has to interact with select people. She feels like she has some control of her life, which helps keep her emotionally stable. On a different note, did you ever read the comic strip "Clear Blue Water"? It was written by a woman who was raising multiple children including one who was severely autistic. Her "slice of life with a smile and a tear" style of writing made for stories that those of us with special needs kids could all relate to. Especially one where she is going down the street with her kids in tow and a woman looks at them and says "Oh Thank God that you have normal ones too." She turns and responds, "Yes, because of course I couldn't love all of my children the same unless they were perfect. Is that what you mean? I couldn't possibly love and care for all of my children with the same love and understanding regardless of their problems. Is that what you mean?" The woman is dumbfounded and tries to apologize, but the mom cuts her off. "Then it is good that God made me the mother of such children instead of having people like you who couldn't care for less than perfect children. Yes, Thank God for that." The author wrote in her blog post back in the days when those were more popular that the story didn't happen that way in real life. Yes the woman made the comment, but she didn't have the snappy comeback. When she did think of it, she drew the comic instead. Remind your family, that none of you are alone. We might not see it, feel it, or remember it, but there are people all around you who love and care for you.
Thank you for writing your post and I look forward to more.
Thank you so much for your comment, Oli. God sure knows who to pick as parents for these special children. I will look for the comic you've mentioned - I haven't heard of it before. So wonderful your kids can find their ways with your support 🤍
Thanks Marie!
Your article resonated deeply with me as we started raising funds for Autism kids. This is another project we are working on. I can understand, Marie, what you had gone through & still going through! Stay strong Marie! ♥️
That is such a good cause to raise funds for! Thank you for your kind comment, and keep up the good work 🤍
Will do Marie.