"People write about embracing this new season of life, but being perfectly honest, I wasn’t feeling any love for it."
It IS hard to embrace it...especially in your 50s. But I'm turning 70 this autumn, and I'm finally embracing this stage. I view myself as a crone. Not in the fairy tale definition - as in hag, often evil. But in the archetypal sense. First, as women, we're maidens, then we're mothers, then we're crones. As in wise elders willing to guide those younger.
Totally understand and appreciate, May how if we are blessed and live long enough there comes a point where we will reconcile our feelings and what we know with our mortality.
I think culture plays a big part in why in some situations talking about death is considered taboo. I read somewhere cultures whose relationship with time is linear, see death as a final step/ frontier as opposed to cultures that consider time as circular and honour ancestors in many ways as your dream. These cultures see death as an evolution and I understand talk more openly about death.
You are right, May. We should be able to talk about death more, instead of hiding it away in a dark corner. Your dream is so special, and I love that it helped to give your fear of death a softer edge. Thank you for sharing this 💜
Thanks for sharing your willingness to talk about death and getting into the last stage of life. I think we are about the same age. My last period was a few months ago. It’s all very scary for me, not the death part but the fact that I am no longer young. I also looked much younger for many years.
Thank you for reminding me to revisit my long lost interest--death positivity--through your writing, May! This gives me an inspiration to contribute on the topic.. Yep, people everywhere still see death as a taboo and it's quite disheartening bcs death is inevitable.
People should be able to choose how they want to be buried, cremated, or--in a more extreme case--fed to the birds. It's real. Try googling Jhator (Sky Burial).
Death needs mental preparation both for oneself and the families. Talking about the topic and planning can help reconcile one's relationship with death. 🫶 Amazing article, May!
Death influences so many of our decisions without us even realizing it.
What I have observed while dealing with it -whether alone or with a client during session- is that if we dare to talk about it a lot, explore it from multiple perspectives, etc., it becomes more manageable. Avoiding even the word makes it more difficult, because it keeps it locked in a huge glass ball somewhere ...far away, making it seem bigger than us, untouchable, overwhelming.
Grabbing the privilege of life with both hands, I couldn't have put it better. In some ways, if we deny our fears, we make ourselves unsafe. In my mentoring work, I'm all too familiar with that look on some of my younger clients' faces. "There's no way this old guy with a beard has any idea what he's talking about." It's like they don't want to live the problem, they just want an answer. Maybe that's what the dream is about. There is no answer, just a continuum for which we all get to carry some of the fabric.
As a result, I'm developing a new anti-aging technique called Face Planking.
Enjoyed the read May...death is something that we don't think about.Its frightening but one has to accept it...while we know it's lurking there let's cherish every stepand breath.
I appreciate your ability to look death in the face and let it take you where you needed to go May.
Death is often hidden under the veils of life-as many as we can pile on to avoid the topic.
Western cultures masks human vulnerabilities, disabilities and the inevitable end of life.
Even though the subject can make us shy away, there's a gift inside the wrapping of fear and you found it in your beautiful dream from another realm. Our spirit continues in a new form as it did with your mother and Gran. You called out for a deeper realization of yourself and it arrived.
I met death when I was 13 and assaulted by a stranger. I had to fight for my life. I was shown aspects of myself I had no idea I possessed. This one day changed my life forever by presenting a crossroad. I could live my life within the constrictive web of fear or trust my path would be illuminated through my heart and go forth with courage. You know what I chose.
Years later I realized I was on a Shamanic journey and facing the reality of death was a necessary step to self knowing. It enhances our love of life. Your words really moved me. Thank you for sharing. 💚🌞💚
"People write about embracing this new season of life, but being perfectly honest, I wasn’t feeling any love for it."
It IS hard to embrace it...especially in your 50s. But I'm turning 70 this autumn, and I'm finally embracing this stage. I view myself as a crone. Not in the fairy tale definition - as in hag, often evil. But in the archetypal sense. First, as women, we're maidens, then we're mothers, then we're crones. As in wise elders willing to guide those younger.
i like the wise elder idea!
Totally understand and appreciate, May how if we are blessed and live long enough there comes a point where we will reconcile our feelings and what we know with our mortality.
I think culture plays a big part in why in some situations talking about death is considered taboo. I read somewhere cultures whose relationship with time is linear, see death as a final step/ frontier as opposed to cultures that consider time as circular and honour ancestors in many ways as your dream. These cultures see death as an evolution and I understand talk more openly about death.
I like that idea - as circular and as an evolution of ourselves too - that kinda makes sense. TY for your comment Jesse
You are right, May. We should be able to talk about death more, instead of hiding it away in a dark corner. Your dream is so special, and I love that it helped to give your fear of death a softer edge. Thank you for sharing this 💜
Thx Marie - I was so grateful for that dream
That dream you had with your mom and your grandmother… it brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing, May!💜
TY Diana - I think about it often <3
Thanks for sharing your willingness to talk about death and getting into the last stage of life. I think we are about the same age. My last period was a few months ago. It’s all very scary for me, not the death part but the fact that I am no longer young. I also looked much younger for many years.
Here's a short post I wrote on Medium about being scared to age: https://medium.com/@jchingmay/i-caught-the-creepy-scary-monster-aging-its-defiant-c11931c3904b
Hey - i am going to read now!
Thank you for reminding me to revisit my long lost interest--death positivity--through your writing, May! This gives me an inspiration to contribute on the topic.. Yep, people everywhere still see death as a taboo and it's quite disheartening bcs death is inevitable.
People should be able to choose how they want to be buried, cremated, or--in a more extreme case--fed to the birds. It's real. Try googling Jhator (Sky Burial).
Death needs mental preparation both for oneself and the families. Talking about the topic and planning can help reconcile one's relationship with death. 🫶 Amazing article, May!
oh i will be so happy if it inspires u to write something Adrian
Death influences so many of our decisions without us even realizing it.
What I have observed while dealing with it -whether alone or with a client during session- is that if we dare to talk about it a lot, explore it from multiple perspectives, etc., it becomes more manageable. Avoiding even the word makes it more difficult, because it keeps it locked in a huge glass ball somewhere ...far away, making it seem bigger than us, untouchable, overwhelming.
Beautiful sharing, May!
TY for that comment - i agree, talking makes it seem another part of life rather than the end of everything <3
Grabbing the privilege of life with both hands, I couldn't have put it better. In some ways, if we deny our fears, we make ourselves unsafe. In my mentoring work, I'm all too familiar with that look on some of my younger clients' faces. "There's no way this old guy with a beard has any idea what he's talking about." It's like they don't want to live the problem, they just want an answer. Maybe that's what the dream is about. There is no answer, just a continuum for which we all get to carry some of the fabric.
As a result, I'm developing a new anti-aging technique called Face Planking.
Enjoyed the read May...death is something that we don't think about.Its frightening but one has to accept it...while we know it's lurking there let's cherish every stepand breath.
What beautiful dream you had! I’m not there yet, but my husband has these fears already.Getting old, the end’s near…
I appreciate your ability to look death in the face and let it take you where you needed to go May.
Death is often hidden under the veils of life-as many as we can pile on to avoid the topic.
Western cultures masks human vulnerabilities, disabilities and the inevitable end of life.
Even though the subject can make us shy away, there's a gift inside the wrapping of fear and you found it in your beautiful dream from another realm. Our spirit continues in a new form as it did with your mother and Gran. You called out for a deeper realization of yourself and it arrived.
I met death when I was 13 and assaulted by a stranger. I had to fight for my life. I was shown aspects of myself I had no idea I possessed. This one day changed my life forever by presenting a crossroad. I could live my life within the constrictive web of fear or trust my path would be illuminated through my heart and go forth with courage. You know what I chose.
Years later I realized I was on a Shamanic journey and facing the reality of death was a necessary step to self knowing. It enhances our love of life. Your words really moved me. Thank you for sharing. 💚🌞💚